RESOURCES OF SUPPORT
Support a Greiving Family

How to Help:
1. Be supportive-Visit or call to say, “I care and want to help.”
2. Treat the bereaved couple equally. Men need as much support as women.
3. Be available. Parents need direct help providing a meal, doing errands, baby-sitting their other children.
4. Allow the parents to talk about their child; ask but don’t pry.
5. Learn about the grieving process. There are many books available.
6. Don’t be afraid of reminding the parent(s) about the child. They have NEVER forgotten. Letting them know you remember is comforting.
7. Be liberal with touching a grieving parent. They often have a need for contact.

What to Say:
1. I am sorry.
2. I am so sad for your loss.
3. I know this must be terribly hard for you.
4. How are you managing all of this?
5. What can I do for you?
6. I’m here and I want to listen.
7. Talk as long as you want. I have plenty of time.

What NOT to say:
1. It’s all happened for the best.
2. You’re young. You can have others. (Would you tell a grieving widow they can get another spouse?)
3. Now you’ll have an angel in heaven.
4. You’re better off having this happen now, before you knew the baby.
5. This was God’s way of saying something was wrong.
6. You should feel lucky that you are alive.
7. Forget it. Put it behind you and get on with your life.
8. I understand. (If you have NOT had a similar experience)

A SIMPLE WAY TO HELP:
The one single gesture that meant the world to us was when Kate’s first birthday came we received flowers, cards and a few gifts from close friends and some family members. This was very meaningful to us and those that remember her birthdays are those that we know really understand our loss and know how important her birthday is to our family. We celebrate each birthday with a lovely homemade family spaghetti and meatball family dinner complete with a small homemade birthday cake homemade by mommy, with a lot of help from her brother and sister. It is a very special and fun day for our children and family. We let off balloons with messages during a visit to the cemetery and try do something fun in her memory with our children on earth.